After that, I went out and ate a simple porridge prepared by mom. I couldn’t eat rice and viand because of my molar bands. It’s really painful to eat! So, after eating I checked my email and saw another notification!! And I was able to grab it too!! Isn’t God great!! He really did prove that He is a great provider – Jehovah Jireh!!
Days and days of ZERO tasks really started to worry me but God really kept His promise that He will provide my every need – not my want – but my every need. Thank GOD!!
With such blessings for few hours, I have to go somewhere!! His house of worship…I got to thank the God of wonders!! So, my children and I went to church.
After the service, we went to my parents-in-laws place for lunch. We ate lechon manok, liempo and kinilaw – all my favorites!! Yummy!! And we stayed there for awhile, I felt asleep at their coach because I was really tired. And suddenly, I was awakened with a loud talk. When I opened my eyes, I saw the sister of the mother of my hubby’s daughter outside marriage!! She asked for the sunglasses of her sister whom my mother-in-law borrowed. And my mind went “????” There were so many questions that I wanted to ask but I couldn’t. Then suddenly, thunder roared!! It was about to rain. So, I immediately picked up my things and bid my mother-in-law good bye. I told her that we needed to go because it might rain so hard, we have no umbrella and I have 3 kiddos with me. She said OK and we went on our way.
As we rode back home, my eyes became so misty just like the clouds. My heart was so broken hearted that I wanted to cry. What did I saw back there?? Did it mean that my in laws are openly communicating with my hubby’s mistress?? OK fine, it’s normal since they are neighbors but borrowing personal stuffs from each other is something quite questionable. It’s beyond my comprehension!! I felt so down…and somehow betrayed inside. When we arrived home, the rain started pouring and so did my eyes. I just couldn’t hold back my tears. The incident just made me felt so unwanted and I didn’t belong. I cried. My sister was there and my mom. They asked me why…I didn’t say anything. I kept on texting my hubby and telling him that I have decided to stop this madness. This is so insane!! I believed in a lie that there might be a future for us and our family after our painful separation. I guess I was so wrong.
After awhile, I went inside the room and slept beside my baby boy. Many thoughts kept creeping in and it brought me back to tears…and I was able to sleep while crying. I slept in tears!
When I woke up, I checked my mobile phone – no message. Well I guess all that I texted my husband was true. He didn’t love me and I don’t belong. And it dawned on me; I might be blogging into a new future ahead of me…a new life? a new future? What lies ahead, I don’t know. Answers are yet to be revealed.
From a tremendous blessed dawn to a very tear-filled afternoon, all I can say…everything works together for the good to all those who loved Him. I am still thankful for this blessed day. Surely, God must have a beautiful plan for me and my children that I may not understand for now but hopefully, I will be strong enough to understand and accept it…soon!