Actually, I am not planning to leave Bacolod. I like it here and also the school my kids are going to and of course, my new friends. But, our situation here is not getting any better. My husband is still driven to his drunkenness amidst our financial difficulties. If he doesn’t drink, he will just make you feel guilty about not loving him. And when he is drunk, he will make you feel sorry that you ever lived. So, might as well go home and take some rest. I am emotionally beaten already and badly hurt inside. I think I need to spare my self worth for awhile. Well, I am not planning to have another separation. It’s just that I need to go home and rest emotionally. Going home will also lighten our financial load. My parents will be there to assist as I work my way to getting better physically (and emotionally) and also paying all our debts through blogging. And maybe, being physically apart again can make better things for both of us…me and my hubby. Maybe he would realize our worth compared to his drunken buddies and male ego. But if he wouldn’t, well I will continue living life for my kids. I do love him, no doubt but I need to live for my kids. They need me and I promise to be with them always. That is why I am pursuing myself worth.
If I am offline for a few weeks, that would really mean that I have no internet connection yet but of course would try to check on you guys with few his and hellos. So don’t worry if I have no new posts. It would only mean “NO INTERNET CONNECTION” not suicide. LOL!!!