Speaking of Filipinas married to foreign nationals, I have heard countless love stories on how they met their love of their life. Most of them started as pen pals, chat mates and met through friends who have been married earlier to foreign nationals too. While some of them became members of dating communities like those who allow foreigners the opportunity on meeting Asians online.

Cross-cultural marriages are a trend nowadays especially westerners marrying Asian women. I have seen a lot of white people here in our city and carrying their half-Filipino and half-American (or whatever nationality is the husband) children walking with their Filipina wives/mom.

As for me, I always thought of marrying a foreigner when I was younger but somehow it didn’t become my cup of tea. I married a Filipino and somehow (after all what we have gone through) I didn’t regret my decision. But guess what, my daughter who is still 10 years old has plans to marry an American “blonde” guy with blue eyes!! She is young but yet so descriptive about her taste already!! Hehehe…

One day, I sent him an email asking him how he feels about everything and the way our marriage is going. After a few hours, he sent me a reply. He sent me this…

A faded wedding photograph
You and me in our first dance
Our eyes are closed
We’re lost in one sweet embrace
Since those days the world has changed
But our love remains the same
God knows we’ve had our share of saving grace

And I’m proud of all the blessings
You have given me
The mountains we have climbed to get this far
You’ve learned to take the laughter with the tears
After all these years

You make it feel brand new
After the fires that we walked through
Against the odds we never lost our faith

In our house we’ve made our home
Where our children all have grown
Precious moments time cannot erase

Make a living up and down the gypsy highways
Seasons that we’ve had to share apart
Somehow in my heart I always keep you near me
After all these years

After all these years
You stood by me
The days and nights that I was gone
After all these years
You sacrificed, believed in me
And you stood strong
Cause with our love there’s nothing left to fear
After all these years

After all these years
You stood by me
The days and nights that I was gone
After all these years
You’ve sacrificed, believed in me
And you stood strong
Cause with our love there’s nothing left to fear
After all these years

Since he couldn’t express what he feels, he expressed his feelings through this song. At first, I didn’t know that it was a song until he told me to look and listen to it at YouTube. He said look for the song After All These Years by Journey. So, I did what he said. While listening to the song, tears fell from my eyes. I was already crying like river. It made me realize that my husband was proud of me and he loved me after all these years.

After that day, I complain less if hubby doesn’t express that much. I just wait until he wants to open up. And believe me, it made our relationship a little better each day.

Here is a video from YouTube, please listen…

Until now, I still cry each time I hear this. It makes me remember the years we have gone through.

Because we were fighting always, the years have grown cold between us. So when October 2004 came, we entered the dark years of our marriage. These were the years that we have declared separation from each other and started living the life individually. We lived life investing on hate and grudge against each other. It was the year when darkness covered our minds and lived like hell. For me, it was the time of my life that I wanted to be happy for myself but I couldn’t. I was wasting life.

As faithful as God is, he made his way through us. On my 27th birthday, I muttered a simple prayer to Him. I asked God to show me a sign if there is still hope for my marriage. Amazingly, later that afternoon I received a text message from my husband. It was a birthday greeting. After reading the text, my heart felt that there was hope.

Then on the next month, August 2006, my husband and I started communicating again. We decided to get back together. So on September 1, 2006, my husband arrived in Bacolod. It was a very awkward moment for us knowing that we spent two years separated. Aside from that, there were many consequences that came about from the wrong decisions we made. It was hard for us…very hard that sometimes we thought that our decision to get back together was wrong. So again, we fought as if all hell broke loose!

On November 2007, our third child died inside my womb. It happened so fast that we ended up blaming each other all the more. We faced our marriage life with bitter hurts and unforgiving past. He resorted to drinking while self-pitied as I engulfed myself with our tragic past. Because of this, I decided quits again on June 2008. I went back to our hometown together with my children but still I felt incomplete. I felt that we haven’t done our best yet to work out our marriage.

So on October 2008, I went back alone to my husband. I observed how he is. So, on November 2007, my son and I finally settled back with him. Then I got pregnant when 2009 entered. On March 2009, we went and fetch our daughter, we went back to Bacolod together and hoping that this time we will have a better life together as I have observed when I visited last October 2008 but I was wrong. While I was pregnant, he drank all the more and left us alone in our house. There were days that he is out more than 30 hours and goes home with no remorse. He was like this until I decided to leave him again last July 2009 but he said that we should not give up. He will try to change and he asks me to be patient. So, he went with us as we transferred to our new place.

Now we have three beautiful children and he still drinks. There are times that he couldn’t find his way home. He is still the imperfect person I married that has no sign of remorse every time he did me wrong but says “I am sorry” when I am asleep. He is still the same man who plays DOTA at night after dinner and goes out to drink when he wants too. He is still the same. He is my husband and I love him so…till eternity and beyond.

“We were given: Two hands to hold. Two legs to walk. Two eyes to see. Two ears to listen. But why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else for us to find.” I am glad I found the other one inside my husband.

Today marks our 10th Year Anniversary and I am happy that we were able to reach this point after all these years. Thank God for the wonderful years together and counting!!

The first time we watched the movie was last year during the couple’s ministry fellowship for Valentine’s Day. As I remember, I cried while watching the movie. There are many scenes that I could very much relate. Though I already watched it, I find myself crying over it again. I can’t help my tears falling from my eyes as I recall the hardships my hubby and I have gone through.

Anyway, during the movie, my hubby and I discussed several points regarding our marriage. We talked about where we should improve and which habits that is causing our marriage to fail. He acknowledged his weakness and so did I but both of us recognize that our bad habits will not be erased overtime. We need to work on it as time passes by with God’s help. Just as the movie goes, the important thing is to never leave your partner behind especially when there is fire (trials, testing and tribulations in marriage).

Since my hubby is always a clown, in the midst of the seriousness of the discussion, he was able to pull-up a joke! He said that he needed a diversion from his drinking problem so I should buy him weights. He wanted to buy weights since earlier this year because he wanted to exercise from home. The only problem was we didn’t have the budget for it. I even tried asking him to take diet pills as an alternative since they are cheaper by the bottle. He wouldn’t budge, and then I asked him to read some articles made by others who have tried just like the ones from Lipofuze reviews. But still it was no avail because he wanted the weights and not pills!

Anyway, the counseling went well and it ended smoothly. My husband and I were not able to talk after because I immediately left for a blogger’s meet-up around 5pm.