Failure to Mom

In a span of three days, all hell broke loose again! I just can’t imagine how hellish life can be. After that shot on the spot incident, I got into another trying moment. My baby boy got a severe asthma attack that caused him to be hospitalized for two days!

Last Monday night, he was having a hard time sleeping. Since I am not a fully experienced mom, I have no idea what was happening. On the next day, my hubby didn’t go to work. He stayed with us. Around late afternoon when the money I borrowed from my online friend was converted to pesos, we went to the clinic to get his health stats checked up. Then it was there that we found out that he was already having a severe asthma attack. He was rushed to the emergency room and was supplemented with a breathing apparatus to help him breath. Then afterwards, he was nebulized together with the oxygen supplement to augment his breathing.

When all these things were happening, I was crying ever now and then. Every time I see those plastic tubes at my baby’s face, I felt utterly stupid and so useless! I felt that I was not being a good mom. I really failed!! I felt so depressed that I was not able to be the best mom at that time.

And you know what?! I started entertaining the thoughts of working again. Aside from the financial struggles we are facing right now, I felt that I am a complete mommy failure. I felt that I am not anywhere near the word BEST. Though I wanted to become a stay at home mommy and be the best mom, I felt that I have failed constantly. 🙁

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  1. ""rare*jonRez"" says:

    hi pinay mommy!
    why such panic? is this ur very first time to have ur son attacked by that dreaded asthma? if it is, then i understand.. but don’t consider urself the worst mommy dear. of course u’r not.. the care and concern u’v expressed don’t make you one. as long as hospitals and the nebulizer thing are accessible, things will be taken good care of. i hope ur son gets better the soonest.

    asthma is never new to me as i am one asthmatic person, and i know, it’s never the best thing. well, i am not finding u to be a worst mom. we are the best in our own way, and when ur kids grow big, i am sure they can testify to how well u’v cared for them by simply being there for them. 🙂

  2. dzerom says:

    My son also have asthma. and everytime he felt difficulty in breathing he needs to use a nebulizer…

    mahirap talaga sa magulang ang magkasakit ang anak, get well soon to your baby boy…

  3. Aisha says:

    Don’t feel like that because you are not a failure. Your son is still alive and you were there for him. I’m sure he or your family won’t think you are. Don’t entertain such thoughts, you are doing your best and that’s all that matters. God will always be there when you call on him.

  4. dharlz says:

    Mommy Rubz, if ur son will grow up malnourished, drug addict and a pain in the society, then I guess, failure ka nga. But I am sure di xa lalaking ganyan kasi mabait ka na mommy and you love him… u have no control over asthma…but u can help ease his pain by being there for him…and nandiyan ka sa tabi niya…yun lang naman importante di ba? cheer up, u and ur son will get through that…God will see to it that you do… Merry Christmas mommy…

  5. Pinay WAHM says:

    I guess we Moms always feel bad whenever our little ones are down with something…but I wouldn’t call it a failure. Just keep on chugging along….I’m sure things will get better sooner or later…

    Hang in there Mommy….

    Mommy J

  6. nurseabie says:

    Hello mommy ruby!Don’t be hard on yourself.Your not a failure mom.You are doing your best to take good care of children.To love and give the best for them. I know as soon as possible your son will be okay. God bless!

  7. arlene says:

    hi mommy rubs, get well soon to your lil boy. hpe he is better now. i’ve never experience that asthma attack in any of my kids bt lots of my mom friends did. their best buddy in times like that is nebulizer. bili ka nalang nyan and u don’t have to run to the ER everytime it attacks. and let ur boy tell you that he is not well when he can’t breath para ma warn ka.

    take care and happy week-end!

  8. maicel says:

    mommy ruby! i know where you’re coming from. I’ve been there, too. my son spent his first Christmas and New Year in the hospital!

    it’s hard not to feel down. please be strong for your boy. he needs you more than anyone else. how can you give him the best care if you’re at your lowest?

    if you think you could have done a lot better, stop blaming yourself. it won’t help right now. it’s more important to heed the lessons learned.

    i hope and pray your boy gets well the soonest possible time.

    take care of yourself din ha!

  9. Madz says:

    Hi mommy Rubs, don't worry too much will pray for you son & for the whole family! He'll be fine…

    Don't blame yourself, has got nothing to do with you or whoever, it happens to all kids… bsta just hang on, he'll be alright!

    God bless you…mwah wmah wmah

    Love, Madz

  10. Z'riz says:

    Mommy R you are not a failure and it is not your fault so please don’t blame yourself. If this is your first, that is to be expected.

    After the initial scare of asthma and when your baby boy gets better and is home na, read more about asthma and what triggers it para next time you and your son can catch it earlier para ma avoid na ang ER scares.

    I pray little boy will be well soon. mwaaah* God bless you and your family Mommy R…

  11. Paula says:

    I was wondering why you there were no new posts in your blog kaya pala your baby got sick. I know this is really a trying time but don’t blame yourself I’m sure we moms think we’re the worst at one point or another but the good thing is our children don’t think that way. I’m sure just seeing you there by his side makes will make him strong and healthy in no time.

  12. gengen says:

    Mommy naman don’t blame yourself oy kabalo ka once in a while kids got sick really and you are not a failure oy proud mom ka hinoon. I am proud of you because I can see how are to your kids naa uban diha pasagdan ra ang anak see ako uncle namatay iya duha ka bata isa gae 6yrs old ang isa 5 months old kay walay atiman. Imoha you are the best because kay imo man gyd atiman imo kids. That’s not your fault oy don’t worry my prayers for you and your son and family. God bless…

  13. Chris says:

    dont be too hard on yourself. our failure to diagnose a sickness at once can not be attributed to us as “bad moms”. my daughter also underwent the same. she coughed the whole night and we went to the doctor the next day, doc told us she was having asthma attack already. good thing that the meds given and the nebulizer did wonders. no need for her to be admitted.

    i know when our kids are sick, we tend to blame ourselves and wonder if we could have prevented the sickness, but there are things that God allow to happen… all for His glory. Just keep praying for wisdom and guidance to the Lord. Im sure He will answer your heart’s questions.

    as for your baby, just make sure you have a nebulizer at home. since he has been diagnosed to have asthma, it is best to be prepared with a nebulizer at home. in our case, we are supplementing our kids with maintenance to avoid asthma attacks especially during cold season, like now.

    hang on mommy! Jesus is there for you!

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