Worried or Stressed??

Aside from my wonky internet connection, I have been very busy. Yup! Busy worrying about my baby inside and what happened to my SEO friendly blog directory and other blogs!

First, about Baby Bella, as I mentioned in my post last September 13, I am worried because of her unsafe exposure already. I have already reached 1CM last Wednesday (1 week ago) which means that the protective covering already has a hole in it in which case, unwanted bio-related things might get into her. And to be honest, I am not yet feeling any labor pains, blood spotting or even bursting of my water bag! It somehow scares me knowing what will happen to the baby if she is continuously exposed.

Anyway, I will be leaving today for my weekly check-up with my OB doctor. I can’t wait to know what are the improvements my baby has by now. I might be back later this afternoon or in the next few days with Baby Bella if the doctor decides to induce me to labor. But honestly, I pray that things would go naturally as possible!

Second is about my SEO friendly blog directory that I have been working on for the past few months. Not only did I spend time and effort in building it but also money to fix and improve it! And you know what happened? The hosting company where I purchased my reseller hosting business (I have five in different servers actually) transferred to a new server. And guess what? All my databases for both the SEO blog friendly directory and my blogs are all gone!! I mean it would be easier to accept if it happened to most clients they serve but my friends who were under them is so online and kicking!! Mine is so kaput! To think, I have two accounts with them. I asked them for help and they said the back-up they have doesn’t contain anything that is why they can’t load my databases back and they can’t do anything about it!! Isn’t that an insane way to treat your customers? I have been into blog hosting services for the past few months but I never leave my clients dumbfounded on matters. Even I was pregnant, I stay up late just to answer and make ways for my clients but as for them…they don’t even give me some alternate thing to do to get myself up and running again. I am so pissed!!

Oh well, aside from being so pissed with them, I am worried with all my clients who took time to get their blogs listed there. It’s hard to get other bloggers to submit their blogs at the directory and much harder to ask them to submit again. What worries me the most is losing the trust of my colleagues in the world of blogging. So, I decided to spend my so hard earned money again to get my oldest database backup loaded to this frustrating new server where I already paid for a one year plan for both accounts. I might not get them up and running immediately since I am in my last pregnancy stage but I am hoping to get everything up by next month. Then before my contract ends with them, I will look for a new and reliable reseller hosting service provider or get my own dedicated server for that matter. I will be so out with them in the next few months!! If you want to know what company, just email me and I will gladly tell you!!

Supposedly I don’t have a third reason why I am worrying about things but just a few minutes ago, my good ole husband have arrived from his drinking again! I already asked him to stay away from his drunkenness for the next few days while I am waiting for Baby Bella to arrive because I want him sober if I undergo labor. But now, he did it again! He has arrived from his drinking spree and is now sleeping. Since he can’t go to work “again,” he will make my OB check-up as an excuse “again” so that he will be granted a valid leave of absence. So to justify his cause, he wants me to go to the doctor this afternoon instead this morning. He wants me to freaking wait for him to get sober so that he could accompany me to the doctor because he wants to ask the doctor something. Which I believe he doesn’t have anything to ask because based from my experiences with the same reason he has, when we arrive at the hospital, he doesn’t even bother to go inside the doctor’s office but spend his time waiting at the canteen “eating” rather than beside me and listen to the doctor’s updates! Not that I am worried about him but I am just so pissed with him and his reasons. I think old habits don’t really die! They just grow from worst to a much worse situation.

And because of this, I have decided to go to the doctor this morning. Why would I wait for a freaking man to get sober when my baby might already be in distress? I heard about damsels and babies in distress but not a prince “not-so-charming!” Heller?! I might be a freaking martyr but I would not stand and wait for somebody who doesn’t even care about the baby I am carrying. Forget about me, I already lost faith that he loves me as his wife or whatever. I am standing strong for my children and someday for myself. I am just hanging on.

After seeing the number of words I have typed, I can really see that I am more stressed than worried. I guess I needed to have a workout machine like a treadmill here or better yet create some home gyms so that I could release some of these stress I am having through sweat!

By the way, thanks for reading my long post. I haven’t done this much for months now. So I guess this might be a shock for some. But then again, thanks for the time and God bless!

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  1. Badet says:

    Hi Mommy, do not stress yourself with your husband. Just pour all your love to your baby and your kids. He’s so insensitive.

  2. sweet_shelo says:

    Hi sis, You are worried and that made you stressed.. I pray that your Bella will come out safe. Open na pala ang cervix mo? Ibig sabihin pala u are really about to give birth.. Buti di ka pa ni require ng OB mo sis na i Cs… But still pray that you’ll have a normal delivery lang..

    As for your hubby, it is really stressing if he has that drinking habit. However more prayers and entrusting him to the Lord nalang sis. Having him changed could not be done by his own might but by The Lord’s..

  3. Mae says:

    It’s my first time to visit here after following a blog site where I learned you won the grand prize at SM. Congratulations!

    Anyway, I hope all goes well with your pregnancy and your baby. Don’t stress too much! Just pray things will work out for good.

  4. praning5254 says:

    mommy, wag ka na lang masyadong ma stress sa hubby mo…think of the welfare of the Baby Bella na lang…

    I pray for both your safety.

  5. Mommy Riza says:

    Hi, by experience, what you need to do is to do some brisk walking to force the baby out if the cervix is already open, it also means that the baby is ready to go out of the womb. Of course you would need someone to look after you, you might want to ask your hubby when he gets sober to accompany you walking. I hope everything turns fine.

  6. onlinemommy says:

    Take it easy Mommy! You are in the situation that is not really good but you need to calm down. Tama yun, stand strong for your children.

    Did you try to pray for your husband? As in really pray with kneeling down? I am not really for broken marriages, because the most affected ones are the kids so I won’t suggest that you just leave him. You can pray for him or encourage him that you pray together. This is not a magic though, but the Bible says, the fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

    I don’t know that you are the woman behind Bloghaven, only now hehehe… galing mo pala talaga… I also want to know the reselling company because I am also into it right now. Bago ako pumalaot gus2 kong matiyak na hindi ito ung current provider ko.

    And lastly, I hope this will not add a burden to you, but I want to know kung confirm na po ung mga prizes na iisponsor nyo? I also need the links that I will include in the sponsors’ list. Next year pa naman kailangan ung mga prizes I just need the final counts para po ma inventory ko ano pa ung mga kulang na prizes.

    Thanks in advance. And I will include your delivery in my prayer. God Bless to you and to your family.

  7. Mommy J says:

    Passing by to check on you. What did the dr say about your worries, dilation, etc?

    Hope you’re trying to relax…

  8. poshpost says:

    oh mommmmmy!!! you have so many things on hand, in mind, and in your heart. btw, as long as ur bag is intact, baby bella is fine. pag nag leak kna, i anti biotic ka gid, as well as bella for a week after she arrives. thats what hapened to dindin. praying for the best…

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