Crying My Heart Out

First, since I didn’t know where he was, I asked through text to his co-employee if how many days was the assigned business trip and if they heard from him because his cellphone was “out-of-reach” since yesterday. There, I was able to found out that he was on leave and the money he has with him is a loan he got from their company (which we planned before to be a start-up business fund at home).

Second, I know he is in CEBU (according to him) but I don’t know where he is and who is with him right now. But his brother told me that my husband called him using the landline of their Cagayan de Oro residence.

Third, since I texted his co-employees, they texted him and asked him how he was and that I was worried. Because he doesn’t want me to ask them, he texted me that I made him look foolish in his workplace and because of that, he will go AWOL (absence without leave) and he will no longer come home. He has left us again…

I am so darn stupid. Maybe, I was really naive, thinking that we had a great chance in our marriage life or thinking that he came back because of me and not of my work (before he left me penniless). I was thinking that I was living in a fairytale marriage but I was wrong. He never loved me. He never really cared for me and maybe to our children as well.

This February 16, 2008 (Saturday) will be my last day at work. I will have no job and my husband said he wouldn’t come back anymore. He has left me again for the second time with a lot of debts and a dozen bills to pay in a place nowhere near my hometown.

So, what should I say about this? Well, I have nothing to right say now…the only thing I can do is cry, cry, and cry.