Engine Heat Up

My mind really heated up last night. I think I do have the right to be angry.
Here’s the story. My hubby told me that his land lady was going to deposit her payment for my TV yesterday. So, I waited for it. Then her land lady texted me that she will just only deposit Php 2,500 as partial payment for my 21 inches Sharp TV, 7.5Kg Panasonic Washing Machine, and TV stand. The rest will be next week. So, I told her never mind because there are other buyer who are willing to pay in full and in cold cash for these items and besides hubby informed me that she is only interested in the TV since my washing machine is already sold to my best friend at Bacolod. When my best friend was about to get the washing machine, the land lady did not gave it to her because she said it’s already been paid (take note, she didn’t paid me nor hubby). So, these old hag (mind my words) made a lot of comments on me and my things . She said to all would be buyers that all items have already been paid and sold.So, I was furious about this and told my hubby to take care of it since I am badly in need of money since he haven’t sent anything yet and the credit card companies are already banging my phone following up my accounts (my name…his accounts – stupid me huh?). But guess what…he sided with the old hag. They only released the washing machine to my best friend and the rest of my items – ACCESS DENIED!! The would be buyer waiting to get the items with cold cash on hand was denied purchase by my husband!! Me and my kids are now super dead broke!! My blogging income (supposed to be extra income for the kids and savings) are always depleted everytime it arrives because I used it to have food on the table and my children’s daily expenses for school. Everytime I get my pay from my online work…I sell my dollars for only 40 pesos (current rate is 44) just to get cash immediately because of our daily expenses.

OK…OK…let me be rational on the matter. I understand that he prioritize the land lady because he reserved the room for almost 3 months (see…we were still there but he has a room already to transferred too) without pay and he transferred there without down payment because our eletricity there was disconnected in the apartment we rented. Remember in my old post that the reason he was not able to send money because it was not enough to pay the bills? So now where is the money??? Why was the lights and my dsl connection disconnected there??

But it was not the reason I got furious. I called him and explained him that I really needed the money and that I needed to pay my credit card bills. So, what he did is that he shouted at me over the phone and called me “gago” (stupid) and I have no respect for him. He did that name calling thing in front of my best friend, the would be buyer, the land lady and the whole neighborhood. Right there and then I cried furiously with hate and anger…all those things that I am selling are the things I was able to buy when he was not yet around. Two years he left us with another girl…he left us broke and penniless…so I looked for a job and took care of my children for two years all by myself. I was promoted and was reassigned in Bacolod. For two years I was able to build a home without a father. Bought things and made a good living. Then after that two years when he has no job and penniless like the time he left us…he came back leaving a daugther to his other woman…but I accepted him. After few months, I was able to help him find a job. After a year or so, I ressigned my well-paying job for the kids and him. For him in the sense that he would not feel belittled. I gave him the throne of being the hubby and the father…but he did not change. He gave in to his weaknesses again – drinking, girls, and illegal d.rugs. Only a few months of me having no work…my credit card limit was slowly sucked dry…our food is running low…I always cry at night because he does not go home. So…I have no choice but to return penniless again to my also penniless parents. Living my life full of hurt…seeing all the things that I have bought for the past two years without him being held captive by his decisions…

Now tell me…don’t I have the right to heat up like a car engine!! If not provided with a universal intercooler, it would blow up??

I cried and I cried…my children saw me in my pain. I don’t want them to see but I couldn’t help it. Our house here is so small that I have no place to hide. In my pain…I was able to sleep.

Now again awake full of many questions…where do I go from here???

  1. JesuLalaine
  2. Maricel
  3. faeryrowan
  4. Zriz
  5. pmonchet
  6. irish
  7. Mummy Sheng

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