Last Monday night, he was having a hard time sleeping. Since I am not a fully experienced mom, I have no idea what was happening. On the next day, my hubby didn’t go to work. He stayed with us. Around late afternoon when the money I borrowed from my online friend was converted to pesos, we went to the clinic to get his health stats checked up. Then it was there that we found out that he was already having a severe asthma attack. He was rushed to the emergency room and was supplemented with a breathing apparatus to help him breath. Then afterwards, he was nebulized together with the oxygen supplement to augment his breathing.
When all these things were happening, I was crying ever now and then. Every time I see those plastic tubes at my baby’s face, I felt utterly stupid and so useless! I felt that I was not being a good mom. I really failed!! I felt so depressed that I was not able to be the best mom at that time.
And you know what?! I started entertaining the thoughts of working again. Aside from the financial struggles we are facing right now, I felt that I am a complete mommy failure. I felt that I am not anywhere near the word BEST. Though I wanted to become a stay at home mommy and be the best mom, I felt that I have failed constantly. 🙁