Feeling Guilty

Earlier today, my mom, children and I went to the hospital to visit Bella’s doctor. It was our first visit after her birth since her doctor was not always around when we came to visit. When we arrived around 11am, I was shocked that there were plenty of patients waiting. That is when I knew that the doctor hasn’t arrived yet. So, we wait until 12nn plus, then the roll call of patient started. At around 1:30pm, it was finally our turn.

As we went inside, I immediately opened up all the issues I have encountered with Bella. One of these is for Bella being fussy. The doctor told me that Bella doesn’t look fussy (because she was behaving at that moment). She said that maybe Bella has not yet adjusted to proper sleeping pattern that is why she is awake at dawn. As for the carrying thing, maybe it is caused by her nasal congestion causing her difficulty in breathing. Aside from that, Bella is a healthy baby gaining 1.1 kilos since birth which also means that I have milk!! Yehey!

Anyway, after the hospital, we went to the department store to buy her additional things but unfortunately she was being fussy again. So we immediately went home and I fed her. And guess what?! After drinking, she sleeps and wakes up again crying. My mom was taking care of her because I wasn’t able to sleep the night before. After a few hours with the sleep, wake and cry pattern. I took her from my mom. She was still crying and I fed her again. Then later, I stood and held her the way she wanted. After a few seconds, she fell asleep. I held her for few more minutes before putting her to bed. Then finally, I was able to sleep until 10pm and Bella is still sleeping like an angel up to now. I just breast fed her awhile ago and she continued sleeping.

Now, I am left confused. I really don’t know what my baby wanted. But I have the gut feeling that she wanted to be held by me because lately Mom has been carrying her longer than I because I was researching about rv financing and other workloads that I needed to finish immediately. I felt guilty but somehow I felt torn between many responsibilities – taking care of her and helping out our family’s finances.

  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
5 Comments
  1. hailey
  2. liezl
  3. Honney
  4. aeirin
  5. Carol

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.