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After having a happy Sunday with my friends, I had a tired and maddening night. I have waited until almost midnight for someone who didn’t even bother to text me if he was coming or not. Grrr… It really made my blood go way off my head!
I don’t have any idea why he didn’t show up for our chatting session. He texted me that he was just going to take his dinner and we will chat later but he didn’t came. Anyway, before that I informed him about my time with my best friends in college. I told him I was on my way home from having a great bonding afternoon with my best friends. He didn’t actually replied with my text messages but even before, I always get the notion that he doesn’t want me to go out without him. That is a real problem with him sometimes. When he goes out with his friends, he doesn’t want me around but with I go out with my friends just to enjoy even a simple afternoon at the mall, he gets a little awkward about it. He is just so selfish!
Who am I talking about here? Well, no other than my better (bitter) half. Sometimes it makes me think deep if going back there with him in Bacolod is somehow worth it. Everyday I came to realize that I am missing a lot of things because of him. Hays! So sad that my heart couldn’t feel anything for him but the LOVE I have how I wish I could teach my heart to detest and shun him for life but I couldn’t. I could still hear my heart beat for him only and for the children. Should I hate myself?
Anyway, I have to go now. I think I need to relax and start my surfing session. Sometimes surfing the net relaxes me especially if I get to learn and read about new things. And lately, I have wanted to drive and learn about automotive. Sometimes I felt like imagining myself driving cute and cool cars and maybe learn how to identify Ferrari parts and ride one too!
Ha! If I was able to drive right now, I might drive myself to the beach and contemplate about life. But I can’t, so might as well surf myself until I get a weary eye and forget that I was stood up last night!