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Hurting Myself. Stupid Me.


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I am really stupid. I just caused myself to get hurt several times this week because of my hubby. We always had a fight while chatting. I got so irritated with him because he always makes me wait for nothing. Our first chat ended with a fight because he accused me of leaving him because I had plans to get involved with another man. Our supposed second chat, I waited until dawn for him but to no avail. He was busy drinking with his buddies again. Yesterday afternoon, he was online but didn’t mind chatting with me. I buzzed him for a chit chat but he said he was busy watching NBA. And later this evening, when I logged-in, I saw a message that he wants to talk to the children. Then I let him talked to my Big Girl because Baby Boy was asleep already. After they talked, he told me to wait for awhile because he was hungry and that he will cook noodles that took him almost an hour. But stupidly, I waited. After I waited, I buzzed him. He said he was eating. So, I waited. After awhile, I buzzed him. He said wait a little while because he will get something to drink. So, again I waited. Buzzed him again, he said he was doing something from his work and of course, he was busy. Now, tell me if I don’t have the right to get irritated??

So, I told him that I hated him for making me feel stupid and wait for him for nothing. Then he accused me of initiating another fight. He told me I was emotional and I don’t make sense at all. Gesh!! It made me frustrate the more.

I had it. I loved a person who doesn’t even give a little thought about how I feel for him. Of course it’s really frustrating to wait for someone to talk to you and ends up not talking to you because of NBA, beer or he being hungry. And the sad part is, he makes you wait and hope for a chat.

How I wish I would not miss him! How I wish I would not feel for him! How I wish.

I don’t want to think about this but lately, I have discoveries that led me to believe that he was really trying to get rid of us. Even our neighbor texted that he always have happy moments drinking beers and singing with friends. I guess he has other plans. Stupid Me!!


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aeirin June 9, 2008 - 3:02 pm

Mommy, don’t think you’re stupid… It’s not your fault… Just be strong for your children…

Z'riz June 9, 2008 - 3:18 pm

aww mommy ruby this sucks really… i know it’s really hard waiting for someone who has no interest in chatting with you…i’ve also had my moments before with an x…but that was years ago…but I can still remember the pain.

try calling him on the phone and ask him what his problem is? chatting usually doesn’t work if there is a fight…texting doesn’t work either so I suggest talking..

i hope u feel better soon mami ruby..

pmonchet June 9, 2008 - 5:36 pm

Mommy Ruby,It really hurts us if we expect something and we are ignored.For the mean time,keep yourself busy for yourself and for your children.The signs are there.He is not interested to chat with you at the moment.Give him space.There is a saying that says,set it free,if it comes back to you,it is yours.(something like that)hehehe.Just my thought.

Mommy Ruby June 9, 2008 - 6:02 pm

thank you guys for leaving comments. i vowed to myself not fuss about him when i left bacolod but it seems that i need to vent out my feelings of irritation.

thanks for always there!! muah!!

pmonchet June 10, 2008 - 4:54 am

Buti naman I made you laugh,I will write something for you in my blog.I am just thinking it over whether I’ll use English,Tagalog or Chinese. hehehe

Mummy Sheng June 10, 2008 - 11:12 pm

please don’t ever think that you are stupid because you’re absolutely not! what you’re going through is understandable. i know for sure you still want him back because you love him and so are the kids. just try to be sensible right now. think about the future and lift everything up to HIM.

be strong, mommy ruby!

jhelea June 11, 2008 - 12:27 am

Life right now, may be too hard for you. Please remain strong. In moment like this, God and only God can give you the comfort you badly need. You’re not stupid. You’re a woman who loves his man in spite of his weaknesses and that’s noble. For the meantime, prioritize yourself. Love your self even more. I may not know you personally but I think you deserve to be happy. God bless!!!!


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