My husband came back from the “so-called” business trip. He came home but didn’t explain further about how he lied to me. He just said that he did it because I wouldn’t let him go alone (he did go to his other woman and kid) by himself. And he doesn’t bother if I get hurt because he doesn’t love me anyway. So, I told him that if he doesn’t love me, what is the use of staying together? So, he told me that we should stay together for the sake of the kids. I said marriage without love is useless. And he said that he is staying (sacrificing just for the kids) even though he doesn’t love me as long as the children has a father to call on their own. He doesn’t care if he does something that would hurt me, as long as the children has a father and a mother together (even if there is no love at all).
Guess what! Even I am hurt with what he said, knowing that he doesn’t love me, I agreed to stay together – for the sake of the children and for the sake of my love for him. I know I would be in a lot of pain being with him but I pray to God that He would give me strength to pursue this. I pray that God would gave me the kind of love that He has when He gave His Son to become a sacrifice to all unlovable and sinful people like us. He had an unconditional love. That’s what I am praying for. I pray that I can sustain the hurt and the pain just to love my husband unconditionally. God gave him to me and I wouldn’t give-up on him just like God didn’t gave-up on us. Many would say I am a martyr. Maybe I am. Maybe not. But as long as I can by God’s grace, I am willing to go through this painful marriage for the sake of LOVE. For the sake of my love to keep this picture below, true…
Not all in my life is pain and hurt though, I am proud to say that it’s my second day as a “Stay-At-Home” Mommy. I don’t felt like one yet since my mom is still here. She continues to take care of us all. But, since she will be going home…soon I will really be a full-pledge SAHM! And maybe in a few weeks a certified WAHM (work-at-home-mom)!!!
Yesterday, some of my dealers and my staff did a despideda party for me. They came to my house. We ate, we sang, we cried. I am sure…I am going to miss them all but I guess my desire to make my family work together is greater than the money my job has to offer. Below are some pictures that was taken…
“Me in the Middle”
Please disregard my eyebugs…I look so ugly because of them. How I wish I could sleep better and cry lesser in the next few months. Maybe then I get to feel beautiful again.
i don’t know what to say, after reading your post! you’re such a strong-willed woman! i know you’ll do everything for your kids, inspite of living in pain.
be strong. probably God has other plans for you. keep on believing.
take care always and god bless!
let’s pray that you’ll have the grace and strength to pursue family life despite your problems. hang on!