Musings

Where In the World is Pinay Mommy??

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Well, I am back at my hubby’s place. He came to me and asked me to come back home with him. Actually, it took four hours of logical and prideful deliberation before he said sorry. Before that I told him that our marriage was not worth another try and that I wouldn’t go back with him if love is not present. At first he said why not be our children be the reason that I should get back with him, so I replied immediately that the greatest way of showing your children that you love them is by loving their mother.Anyway, to make the long story short, after the painful four hours of talk, he finally said sorry for all things he said. He told me that he was drunk and mad that is why he said all those things. He also explained that he was also having a hard time because of our past and the truth still remains that he loves me and that since when decided to be together again he had never touched another woman. It was only pride that keeps us both in a position where we hurt each other more than showing love.

I admit that I too have a flaw and shortcomings in our marriage. I have been cynical and often accused him of the past. And because of these things, we always end up in argument and saying hateful words. Well, I couldn’t blame myself. It is hard to trust again when it has been already broken from the past. When we separated, I have done many bad things too that somehow caused him to be hurt too.

I am not justifying the fact that I have accepted my husband’s apology. I love him and the kids too. I want a family but still I don’t know how long I can keep it up. As Mommy Jenny said, only God can change a person, not me, not my children or any other person for that matter. Only God can help him change. I just pray for circumstances to make him wake up!

The only thing I need to do is be strong and have more faith, for me and for the sake of my children.

Anyway, I would like to say thank you for the continued advices and support of all the people who constantly follow and read my blog. Your advices are very much appreciated and I take them all to heart. Now, I need your prayers that I may remain strong and fight for my goals to have a family…not perfect but complete and happy.

I know I should leave my husband for all the pains and the hurt he has caused me but sometimes my love for him and the children and the desire to keep the family together is still stronger than the hate I felt for the circumstances.

Am I afraid of losing him? No…I have proven many times that I can survive without him. I have raised my children without a single penny from him. But I do love him and the kids…and I believe that love by God’s grace can conquer all. I just hope I will live the day to see my husband change, my heart to accept the past and to see my children grow with a loving mom and dad.

If he has pride and I have pride too, where would this marriage go? As long as he doesn’t hurt me physically, I am still willing to pursue my goals. As long as there is love, I am still willing. So guys, please love me for who I am – the stubborn one. Besides, it wouldn’t be Pinay Mommy if I don’t get stubborn when it comes to love, right??

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Lifestyle Mommy Blogger and Virtual Assistant from Cagayan de Oro City, Philippines. Aside from doing product reviews and events coverage, she blogs about solo parenting, homeschooling, and things in between.

15 Comments

  • dharlz

    hmm… i hope you will be stronger than the strong woman you already are… but it comes as a cycle mommy… Sana wag na maulit pa ang nangyari sayo…

    God bless…

  • Regayumi

    Hi mommy Ruby,

    Praise God for that…I hope your family will reunite soon. It’s true that pride can only make things worst. I’m so happy that you’re trying to get rid of your pride. I’ll still be praying for you. I hope you do the same way.

    God bless you always and have a nice day ahead!

  • Mommy Ruby

    @ mommy dharlz,

    thank you so much for the trust and the love. i hope that it won’t happen again.

    @ mommy regayumi,

    thank you also for the prayer. that is what i need right now. to be strong in GOD.

  • nurseabie

    Thank God that both of you are okay now.I’ll pray that things will be okay for your family.It’s good that you still love each other.Maybe an an open communication is needed.When your hurt with what is happening to your family life,your kids also feels it.Nobody wants to have a broken family.Your kids wants to have their family intact with a loving parents.Nobela na ito mommy rubz!hehehe.God bless!

  • twinks

    Hi Mommy Ruby,

    I hope and pray that things will be much better this time. You and your kids deserve happiness in this world. You’re such an amazing woman and you know that. Be strong and keep the faith alive. God is good and Only He knows what’s best for you. He’ll be with you in all your journeys. Be happy.

  • entrepgirl

    May God bless you and your family and continue to strengthen you. You’ve shown great courage and the willingness to fight for your family, and we all pray that all works out well.

    Whatever decisions you make, may it bring you the inner peace that you and your family rightly deserve.

  • Mariuca

    Hi dear, I’m not sure what is causing the stress in your marriage, but be true to yourself and to love and you will find a way to be happy again. Together or apart, be strong always and have faith that u will get that happy ending eventually. Take care always and love and hugs. :):):)

  • Mitch

    The best decision is still up to you! May you become more stronger as you through all these.

    Loving a person does not end after each fight, in fact it grows more and that’s when you begin to ask yourself “is it worth it?”. Your friends would tell you it’s not but at the end of the day, it’s you who will benefit after the rain stops.

    You know him better… You continue to love him despite his flaws and I’m sure there’s still a lot of space to accumulate the pains all BECAUSE OF LOVE.

    Be strong! Trust in Him… That’s all you could do now.

  • Pinay WAHM

    Hey…

    You know what’s best for you and your family. We’re only here to offer support and prayers. I do pray though that your DH will soon realize how close he is into losing you and his kids.

    Stay strong…

    Mommy J

  • Jennie

    If we were all to look at it from your man’s history and even through the cycle that you have allowed us to see even via virtually, we can almost see the worst coming. We could all very well discourage you from heading for a something like a suicide mission of taking him back. But then again, we are not in your situation. I trust, Ruby, that every decision you have made and are still to make, you prayerfully ask God for guidance and for the Lord to provide peace in your heart. And if the Lord does not provide that peace for you to go ahead with it, don’t. It is just as simple as that. Your decision at this time will break or make you. If you need to do some fasting for you to hear God’s voice clearly (fasting when done accordingly practically takes away human errors, which we are most likely to commit because being biased is inevitable when we have everything planned out) Claim His promise that His plans for you are good and not to harm you. And go on with confidence as you stand by your decision. The Lord will be your shield. I will keep you in my prayers.

  • Mommy Ruby

    @ nurseabie,

    thank you very much for a wonderful comment. actually hinde pa yan nobela at kahit nobela man, i would still love to hear it. hugs!

    @ twinks,

    i really hope for improvements. the only thing that made me accept his apology is the changes i have seen in the past few months. they are not major changes but they are the signs that i have been looking for all these years. hugs!

    @ entrepgirl,

    thank you mommy for the prayers. these are the important things i need right now. muah!

    @ Mariuca,

    thank you GP for leaving a comment. thanks also for the love and hugs you have shared to me since the beginning. love you too!

    @ Mitch,

    you are so true mommy. trusting GOD is all I need now. no one can help me see life more clearly than him. thanks again for the support. love yeah!

    @ Pinay WAHM

    mommy j, you have been there ever since the beginning and you have seen how stubborn my heart is. but i am thankful that you have been very supportive and honest all this time and i thank you for that. love yeah!

    @ Jennie,

    mommy jen, thank you for your advice. i am really hoping that the cycle of our fighting days would be over. the really sad part is the past that we have gone through. we have been to marriage counseling and all, but this time i have seen changes in him. maybe because in the last few months he has exposed himself to the ministry. anyway, i will try to do fasting too. it is really true that human errors can be seen true this. thanks for the wonderful comment mommy, i need your prayers too. muah!

    thank you guys for all the love and support. GOD bless you all!

  • jonaver

    hi mommy!

    well, im back that you’re back 2geder. tho im kinda against about ur husband coz of what he did but im really hapi dat u still do the things that makes u and ur family be hapi. kaw ra man jud makabalo unsa dapat himuon and of cors, wd God’s guidance. so, always pray lang jud.

    hoping u mor happiness! God bless.

    momi_jona

  • timi

    hi! well at least you were able to talk to each other about this problem you’re having.

    I’ll continue to pray for you and your family. *huggles*

  • Gigi

    Hi Ruby! Hope that you didn’t get offended when I offered help. I was just worried about you.

    But I am so glad that you’ve decided to work it out with your husband and him the same too. 🙂

    Him saying sorry is a start and you accepting your flaws is a big leap for you… I will include you and your family in my prayers!

    GG

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