Baby Jonathan

A few hours earlier, I introduced myself. I told you that I had 2 beautiful children and I am working but currently on leave. Well actually, I am on leave because my 2 months old baby in my womb died. I was admitted at the hospital last Saturday because I was bleeding but the next day after the ultrasound, we found out that my baby was already dead. My body reacted about the dead baby and that caused me to bleed.So last Sunday afternoon, we had the baby taken out by dilation and curettage (raspa). It was very sad for me and my husband. We expected to have a third child. When we knew about it that Sunday morning, all we did was we cried the whole afternoon as we wait for my schedule to have the baby taken out.

Even though, we didn’t knew the baby’s gender. We named him baby Jonathan. I was excited to have another baby boy. But unfortunately, God didn’t will it for us. I don’t know why but probably the answer lies on the next few months or years.

It’s been a few days already but still I can’t help myself. I cry every time I remember him. When I see my pregnancy book, I cry again. When I lay down at bed and remember what happened, I cry again.

Maybe he was a blood, but for me, he is already my baby. It’s hard to accept especially when I remember all the things that I went through before I lost the baby. Yes! I do sometimes blame myself and I cried about this.

Anyway, because of that event, I decided to start blogging. Share my experiences and maybe someday, I can touch lives about this. I kinda discreet right now. I am not that ready to talk more about it. I might cry again.

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4 Comments
  1. Lalaine
  2. Jen
  3. Pinay Jade
  4. Pink MagaLine

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