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This is just so amazing. After the post I have yesterday, we had another fight.
Well, I guess this one is on ME! I over reacted on few things because of a simple agreement that we made. We agreed that we should go to church together and nobody would be left behind. I reacted and he reacted, then all those hurting words came out of our mouths.
I told him that he really doesn’t love me and that he is only living up to our marriage because of his conscience and not because he loves me and he wants too. Then he said, maybe I am right that he is here only for the children and if that is the case, why couldn’t I sacrifice for them too?
OK, call me insane or melodramatic but can anybody here live life with a person who doesn’t love you back? Or always thinks you are a wrong person? (He said to me that he loved the wrong person.) So, it means he is putting up with our marriage because of the children? Then probably that is the reason why he always abuses me emotionally. He lies and hurts me as if I don’t have a heart! He also complains that I always ask for attention and love wherein fact he is not able to provide because he always consider it as childish.
Oh well, I have too much bitterness and remorse right now. And guess what?! I am not yet leaving him but I have plans. I have plans to LOVE myself! Plans to be immune with his maltreatment and emotional battery! Plans to neglect him and all the things that he does and plans to be strong until I would be able to gain my stand. I know it’s hard but I will try.