After a joyous decision of resigning and becoming a stay at home mom, came the bad news that my husband’s company is closing down (which I already mentioned in my previous post). So, my husband and I have talked about some issues our family will be facing in the next few months.
One of these issues is the fact that we are not from Bacolod City. We have no relatives here to help us. So, the most rational thing to do is to go home. We decided that we should pack-up all things and sail back home to Cagayan de Oro City. There we will find our relatives, my parents and his parents. There, we will pick-up the pieces again. I don’t want to say this but we are technically going home penniless and with debts.
Almost 3 years being away, I am finally going home…sad. Instead of bringing home gifts, we bringing home our debts. The thought of it saddens me already. The though that my children’s future is at stake. The though of adjusting to all aspects of life (emotional, spiritual, and financial) is making me scarred.
I started to ponder…was it a big mistake to choose to stay at home and be with the kids?? Or is it God’s plan that I may be humble in many ways and go back to my home dear land??
Not only that I am financially scarred but I am also emotionally scarred. When I left home almost 3 years ago, I really don’t have the intention to go back because of all the bad memories that happened there. All the memories of how my marriage was broken into pieces and how I was really beaten up bad inside my heart.
Geshh! I am really confused right now. I am really scarred. Should I give-up my dreams to be a stay-at-home mom and look for job?? Or should I stay home and pray that God would help my husband find a job?? Is my marriage be that strong to face back old memories or is it approaching another storm?? Oh God! Help me….